Small things.

>>

Just a note.

Found a lovely little note and flower attached to my windshield this morning. Pretty much made my day. Thanks babe :)Funny how the little things can mean so much.

P.S. The reference to 'a yellow weekend' just means a bright, fun, & adventure-filled weekend. A little inside joke for people that have taken the Insights Discovery personality profile 

Happy Friday!

Cravings.

I crave you.

I'm hungry for you. 

I can't wait to kiss you.

I want to feel you. 

I'm fascinated by you. 

I'm enraptured by you.

I want to be free with you, run away with you. 

You are enthralling.

You are complicated, oh so complicated.

You are wild in the most timid of ways.

You are genuine.

You are beautiful.

Your soul is good and full of hope.

You are my craving, my edacious craving. 

Constant hunger.

<3

Bliss.

It’s pure bliss.

There’s no other word for it.

The feeling I get when you walk in the room,

When I see your smile 

And that look you always flash

It’s more than butterflies.

It’s more than happiness.

It’s pure bliss.

You put me on a cloud.

And I float up there in the sky

until it’s time to say goodbye.

I don’t know what it is,

What makes us so good?

Why does it feel so good?

Why does it fit so well?

Well, who cares why!

It works in a perfect way, a weird way.

A perfectly weird way.

And I love it.

It’s pure bliss.

With you.

This is exactly how I feel when I'm with you. 

<3

You & me.

Daydreams.

<3

Subject Change.

Why do I change the subject?, you ask. Because. Because I know that there’s no good outcome if we keep talking. I know where the conversation goes, and it doesn’t ever go my way. So yea, I change the subject. Because who wants to face reality? I don’t. I know what all those conversations end with. And it’s not, “hey, yea, lets hang out.” Instead its, “I really shouldn’t hang out with you anymore.” I don’t want to hear that. Who would? C’mon. I’m sorry if that makes you mad, but imagine how I feel. I found someone, but that someone doesn’t want to be found. He doesn’t know what he wants.

Alone.

Why do I have to do this to myself? Sitting here, waiting for you, checking my phone, facebook, anything, for a message from you. Wtf! It’s infuriating. You did this to me. You set me up. You lifted me higher than I’ve ever been, then (blam!) dropped me back down to earth so fast there was no time to even prepare for landing. And here I am, mopping around, making excuses, getting nothing done, and for what?! You knew this would happen, but, well, you did it anyway. Thanks a lot. Now I’m even more miserable than I was before.

Why do I care so much? God dammit! This sucks so bad. You suck. And, of course, it had to be you too. I’ve freakin dreamt about what it would be like to kiss you. I’ve gushed about you to the girls. And then, when all my dreams come true, I’m so blissfully happy, too stupid to see the fall that’s coming. I wonder how I would be right now if none of this had happened. 

Would I still be this lonely? Probably, but I definitely wouldn’t be thinking about you every other minute of the day. I’d just be waiting for prince charming to come and sweep me off my feet.

Thing is, you were my prince charming. You were perfect. And maybe I only think that because we spent so little time together, but nonetheless, you could do no wrong. You were sweet, and said all the things a girl wanted to hear, all the things my past boyfriends had never said. You loved my weird quarks, and smiled at my lame jokes. We had so many inside jokes; people would’ve thought we’d been together for years. 

But here I am, all alone. I’m just alone now. 

Extraordinary love.

Lessons

1. Staying in can be a hundred times more fun than going out.
2. Holding hands is still one of the best things in life.
3. A smile can brighten any day no matter what.
4. Don't leave cheese in the fridge untouched for two months and expect it to be edible.
5. If you're cold, it just means you're alive. So smile.
6. Moving is a lot of work. So find a place you like and stay put.
7. Learn to be free.
8. Let it go. Let it out. Set it free. 

Wake up.

This morning I had a lovely dream. A lovely dream about a kiss. But now that I think about it, it was probably a message from my inner consciousness. It was my conscious telling me what I already know, but want to ignore. 

It was you, watching me sleep with a little smile on your face. You knelt down close to my face, softly put your fingers through my hair, and kissed me so tenderly, then whispered in my ear, “Wake up.” 

     I did wake up. I woke up just wanting that to be real. Wanting you to be there by my side. But you weren’t. And I realized, I needed to wake up. Just as you had said in my dream. 

Wake up. Wake up. 

Lost.

Feeling lonely and scared today. Not sure what to do about it. I hate when everything is up in the air, when I have no control over anything. My life is one giant transition period right now and I hate it. I hate not knowing what will come next. Where will I live? What will I do? Who will I love? What's next?! What's next?! Someone tell me! I feel so helpless.

Goodbye my Loyal Friend

My favorite purse officially died today :(

After years of trusty companionship I think the time has finally come to say goodbye forever to my beautiful turquoise bag...

Dear purse,

Its been a long time coming. I've had to save you from the trash many times after friends have brutally tossed you there in an attempt to not so subtly hint at your impending demise.

I should have been prepared for this but...I just love you so much, my big adorable purse. 

Yes, it looks a bit ragity, and, yes, pieces of turquoise flake off onto my shoulder and speckle my clothes as I carry it, and yes, sometimes the strap gives way and the entire contents of my purse spills to the ground, but, what can I say, I love my (not so) little bag. I'll never find anything like you again. 

Goodbye my little friend. xoxo

Do you have a special something that you just don't have the heart to throw away too? What is it?

The Transition Period

I’ve been working so hard lately, constantly studying, writing, networking…But I wonder, will it all pay off? Will I really get what I want? Is it all worth it?

Lately, I feel like all my effort to achieve my dreams is coming at a cost. I have felt disconnected with the world, my friends, family, and now, even with my boyfriend.

Our lives are currently in a state of limbo. Chris is currently trying to start his career here, and it has been very difficult for him. He has had a lot of free time, which has most definitely driven us apart. 

This transition period has been very tough for us. I’ve honestly just been waiting for him to find a job and a routine so that we can also find OUR own routine. I just want to be able to relate to him again and him to me. 

So, the challenge for us will be to survive this period while we are doing such different things and come out of it together and strong…

Lovin Love

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!  

Remember to tell those you love 

how much they mean to you.

I'm normally not one to celebrate silly contrived holidays like this one, but this time I think I'll make an exception. But only because this is a special Valentine's Day. 

I finally have my babe here with me. And he's here to stay.  It's been about 3 weeks since he moved all of his stuff in and I couldn't be happier, minus his choice in curtains...  I love coming home to someone other than my cat (no offense Cricket) <3

Although it is quite an adjustment, I'm sure we've made the right choice.  

I just wish we had a bigger bed...He's kinda tall and a total bed hog.    

Love You Babe!

Meet Cricket

This is Cricket, my perfect little kitty. She keeps me sane when I'm alone and in need of a companion.  She's very protective of the things she loves (one more reason to love her). I once watched her growl for an hour at a tree trimmer cutting branches on her favorite tree...Do you have any pet stories to share? 

Another weekend all Alone