Sunday, January 29, 2012

Alone.



Why do I have to do this to myself? Sitting here, waiting for you, checking my phone, facebook, anything, for a message from you. Wtf! It’s infuriating. You did this to me. You set me up. You lifted me higher than I’ve ever been, then (blam!) dropped me back down to earth so fast there was no time to even prepare for landing. And here I am, mopping around, making excuses, getting nothing done, and for what?! You knew this would happen, but, well, you did it anyway. Thanks a lot. Now I’m even more miserable than I was before.

Why do I care so much? God dammit! This sucks so bad. You suck. And, of course, it had to be you too. I’ve freakin dreamt about what it would be like to kiss you. I’ve gushed about you to the girls. And then, when all my dreams come true, I’m so blissfully happy, too stupid to see the fall that’s coming. I wonder how I would be right now if none of this had happened. 

Would I still be this lonely? Probably, but I definitely wouldn’t be thinking about you every other minute of the day. I’d just be waiting for prince charming to come and sweep me off my feet.

Thing is, you were my prince charming. You were perfect. And maybe I only think that because we spent so little time together, but nonetheless, you could do no wrong. You were sweet, and said all the things a girl wanted to hear, all the things my past boyfriends had never said. You loved my weird quarks, and smiled at my lame jokes. We had so many inside jokes; people would’ve thought we’d been together for years. 

But here I am, all alone. I’m just alone now. 


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